Sunday, February 26, 2023
Last week my great-grandmother, Mary, passed away. She was 100 years old. I am 25 - a quarter of her age - and the future often seems so terrifying that it's impossible to imagine living for three more quarters. But to me, Mary is proof that long life is a blessing, and that there is joy and fun in old age. In all my memories of her, she is smiling and laughing. In my favourite memories, she is either cooking, eating, or telling a story. If you asked her what the secret to a long life is, she would always give a different answer - eat pie every day, eat pizza every day, or some other food-related anecdote. Our family finds joy and community in food, and that's because of Mary. She will always be on our minds on Christmas Eve - a day that will forever be sacred as we continue the tradition of gathering together to eat copious amounts of perogies, cabbage rolls, and borscht. Decades ago, Mary would call in sick to her job - ‘You can keep scheduling me on Christmas Eve but I'll be sick that day' - to prepare the feast. There were always generous amounts of mazola oil involved, for she was not one to sacrifice small indulgences in hopes of longevity. As her family grew, the gathering grew, and she continued to command the chaotic Christmas kitchen for many decades. It was a special thing to greet her with a hug every year and to find that I was a bit taller and she was a bit shorter. But whether or not it was Christmas, Mary always seemed to be surrounded by people. She had a lot of friends and she never missed a party. I am not exaggerating when I say that she had more of a social life than I do. Mary was truly beloved by many, and she never seemed to forget the name of a friend, a neighbour, or even a neighbour's pet. I think she carried with her a sort of infectious joy that drew people in and made them want to be a part of her life - although she always shared her food generously, which may have been a part of it. Last July, all her loved ones gathered to celebrate the big 100. She smiled, she laughed, she joked, she ate her favourite type of cake (lemon poppyseed chiffon), and she gave a speech that was honest, gracious, and heartfelt. I think that this party was the last big thing on her to-do list, and I'm so glad that she was able to enjoy it. So, according to Mary's words, the secret to a long life is regularly enjoying good food, but according to her actions, it is also spreading joy, laughing easily, connecting with your community, celebrating life in the company of friends and family, and going to as many parties as possible. May we honour her memory by gathering together and sharing our food and our joys for many decades to come.
